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November 3, 2003 - Electric bill arrived for October.
$817.27. Better than I could have imagined. I just
realized that my wife must have left us some time back.
Can't recall seeing her or hearing her voice in almost a month
now. You'd think there would be a note or something
somewhere. November 2, 2003 - I begged for my job back
and didn't get it but I did get a pretty good one. Gary is
really a pretty understanding boss. It's a good thing too,
cause I got some bills coming.
November 1, 2003 - I must of left the A.C. on too long
last night. I woke up shivering and there's a solid frost
on the living room carpet.
October 31, 2003 - Happy Halloween! I got my car
back from the shop today and the compressor arrived.
George should have it up and running this afternoon. I'm
going to have a hard time paying these guys but they don't know
that.
October 30, 2003 - The bank called today about my
mortgage payment being late. I explained that I had been
demoted a couple of times and that I would get caught up soon.
She just laughed and said "whatever".
October 29, 2003 - The abyss...I can't take it much
longer. My legs feel like the sweaty disembodied
appendages of some somnambulant porcine tourist. I can't
find ice anywhere. Just one little piece of ice. Is
that asking too much?
October 28, 2003 - The Governor came on t.v. this
morning telling everybody to stay indoors unless absolutely
necessary. Something about potential brain damage from
unseasonably warm weather and high U.V. levels.
October 27, 2003 - House A.C. should be running soon.
$2,500 installed for a new compressor doesn't seem all that bad.
Only reached 108 today. I actually thought I detected an
Autumnal chill in the late afternoon air.
October 26, 2003 - Go-ped gave up today. Sort of
just stopped running and the wheels don't turn smoothly anymore.
Billy says they aren't really designed to be a grown man's
primary vehicle. He sort of made his eyes real big when he
said "grown". What a smart ass.
October 25, 2003 - George came by today and
apologized. Said something about being hospitalized both
Monday and Wednesday for heat stroke. I cut him some slack
cause he's a good kid. The garage called and said they
went ahead and ordered a real important part from India so it
was going to be a little longer and a little more money than
they thought.
October 24, 2003 - I'm really thinking seriously about
calling another air conditioning guy, this is getting
ridiculous. Today I got my suit pants cuff caught in my
drive chain. All the fellas at the day job stand made fun
of me.
October 23, 2003 - Halloween just around the corner.
George called and said he thinks he can maybe make it by
Thursday if one of his 13 appointments that morning cancels.
I spent most of the day at the mall using their free air
conditioning. I got a ticket on the way there for
operating an unlicensed motor vehicle. Car should be ready
in a week or so if things go right.
October 22, 2003 - Somehow the temperature in the
house is now higher than the one outside. My fridge is
working overtime just to keep my leftover beans and franks at
room temperature. George left a message saying he got my
message.
October 21, 2003 - I woke up in a bed full of sweat
drenched sheets last night. Evidently my brand new air
conditioning unit on the roof of my track home gave up the
ghost. Left a message for George at Dino's to take a look
at it.
October 20, 2003 - I set the alarm for 3:30 a.m. so I
could mow the lawn before it got too hot. Only one
neighbor complained this time. Car still being serviced.
October 19, 2003 - I got demoted at work after I
showed up to my meeting "smelling of gasoline and B.O."
You try riding around on a 2 cycle skate board in 110+ heat in a
3-piece suit and see if you smell like flowers. Doesn't
matter, I think the mailroom is more my style anyway.
October 18, 2003 - I had a meeting this morning
downtown so I took the go-ped as far as the nearest downtown bus
stop. They showed me how to mount the ped on the front of
the bus. The bus driver said they used to have AC on this
route but it broke and they don't have the money to fix it.
Both of the other bus riders seemed put out about how long it
took me to mount and remove the go-ped .
October 17, 2003 - Borrowed my son's go-ped to take to
work today. It gets a pretty good head of steam up
and, in the mornings at least, offers a cooling effect while
riding. I better get a helmet though, his doesn't fit me.
October 16, 2003 - The jerks at the service station
say I owe them for the Yugo. Like it's my fault or
something. Where am I going to come up with the $2,000 for
a brand new replacement?
October 15, 2003 - Yugo burst into flames in an
intersection. This caused a bit of a backup as it
compounded an already bad traffic situation due to the intense
flames. I made it out alright but the Yugo is totaled.
October 14, 2003 - My car overheated on the way to
work today at around 7:30 a.m. I had to walk over 200
yards to the nearest service station in sweltering conditions.
A man with a funny hat and a crazed look gave me a ride the last
20 yards. They say it'll be in the shop for a while but
that I could use the "loaner Yugo" in the meantime.
October 13, 2003 - I tried the winter lawn thing again
today. The rye seed was on the ground approximately 4
minutes before a large whirlwind came along. I saw flocks
of ravenous sparrows feeding in mid-air.
October 12, 2003 - Here comes the sun...there goes my
electric bill. Highs in the lower 120's portends cooler
weather to come.
October 11, 2003 - It's been one of those days. You know
that kind that you'll cherish for life. Of course any day that
feels cooler than taking a nap in a 4" x 7" bed of hot coals is
my idea of paradise. Just gives me shivers thinking about it.
October 10, 2003 - Hot weather is back. I planted
my "winter" lawn today. Hopefully the snow won't stunt its
growth. Practically Halloween and we hit 117.
October
9, 2003 - Weather man way off! No chance of showers.
My doctor warned me that he found a very small, but very obvious
patch of skin on the back of my neck that wasn't pre-cancerous.
October 8, 2003 - If people read these top to bottom
they'll think they're getting younger. That would make
sense to you if you'd had your brain fried for 230 consecutive
days. We found our cat today in the freezer, curled up and
rock hard. He must have jumped in while I had it open the
other day. Lucky bastard! I used him as a chilled
neck pillow last night.
October 7, 2003 - Stayed
indoors all day long. Not too bad. Electric bill
arrived today by registered mail. I don't think $600
a month is too much for living in such a great location, do
you?.
October 6, 2004 - New record high today. At
least we got something to show for our misery. We haven't
seen our cat in 4 days. Sometimes thirsty coyotes grab
them to use like portable water bags. I mean I've heard
that, anyway.
October 5, 2004 - Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!! I can't
think straight anymore. I went out to get the mail today
without my shoes on. The paramedics took almost 20 minutes
to reach me.
October 4, 2003 - My cell phone emerged underneath the
glove box today in a sticky sort of molten pool of polyester
lava. No longer useable.
October 3, 2003 - Slight cooling trend observed.
Then load controller automatically cut off my air conditioner.
October 2, 2003 - I have two words. Ball.
Sweat.
October 1, 2003 - At last we've reached the harvest
month, when winter casts its long cool fingers across the land,
slowly pulling back the curtain of a carefree and lazy summer.
Here it was hotter than a damn pizza oven.
September 31, 2003 - There IS no Sept 31st...but if
there was it would be 127 damn degrees!
September 30, 2003 - Good Lord! So damn hot they
didn't even include it in the list. Set cell phone on
dashboard. Phone absorbed. Dashboard has
lump. Maybe Fall starts tomorrow.
September 29, 2003 - Like Jesus jumpin up on George
Foreman's Grill. Hopefully tomorrow we get a cooling
trend.
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