September 9, 2005

Dennis Miller Regrets Move from Comedian to 'Right Wing Prick'


HOLLYWOOD CA - Dennis Miller still has his edge as evidenced by these statements to ET reporter Nile Rodgers, "I overreacted to 9/11. What can I say? I fucked up. Now Bill Maher's got my gig and all the high dollar pussy while I'm stuck bustin' my nut speaking at prayer breakfasts to baptists in suits." Mr. Miller can be seen this weekend at the Radisson Hotel in Whittier CA where he will be giving a talk for the Concerned Businessmen's Association of America.

Dick Cheney Tours Disaster Area



NEW ORLEANS, LA - Vice President Dick Cheney (pictured above) toured the gulf coast distaster area today with Attorney General Alberto Gonzales and Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff. "I think the progress we're making is significant," Cheney said. "I think the performance, in general, at least in terms of the information I've received from locals, is definitely very impressive. I think I can safely say that this disaster is in its 'last throes' "

"New Orleans Was a Stupid Place to Build a City in the First Place"


NEW ORLEANS, LA - Michael Chertoff, Secretary of Homeland Security, clearly chafing from harsh criticism about the handling of hurricane Katrina had this to say during his tour of the area with Vice President Dick Cheney. "What the hell did these people expect living in a city that is virtually a below sea level soup bowl. When American's purposely endanger themselve the federal government can hardly be expected to bail them out. Let this be a warning to people who refuse to leave known areas of danger. We won't force a mass evacuation of California but if people are still foolish enough to be living there when the earthquakes hit don't come looking to the government for tears or handouts."