September 4, 2005

New Orleans Flood Victims Speak Out in Support of Government Response

Condoleeza Rice says Race not an Issue

President Invents New Guitar Chord

Funnyman William Rehnquist Struck Down in the Prime of Life

September 5, 2005

White House in Desperate Need of Writers

Bill O'Reilly Admits 20 Year Membership in NAMBLA

"Uppity Negro's Gettin' Under My Skin" Says President

September 6, 2005

Kid Rock Still Famous

Head of FEMA Michael Brown Officially Diagnosed as Petarded

Toby Keith Suffering Severe Writer's Block in the Wake of Katrina

September 7, 2005

Karl Rove in Contract Dispute with Mephistopheles

Barbara Bush's Tragic Descent into Dementia Shocks Reporters

Halliburton Wins Contract for America's Newest Waterpark

September 8, 2005

White House Declares: We've Turned the Corner

Democratic Senators Decry Bullying by Republicans

Hurricane Survivors to be Given Debit Card, 40 Acres and a Mule

September 9, 2005

Dennis Miller Regrets Move from Comedian to 'Right Wing Prick'

Dick Cheney Tours Disaster Area

"New Orleans Was a Stupid Place to Build a City in the First Place"

September 10, 2005

Dems Lash Out at Administration over Katrina Debacle

President Bush Drinking Again

Michael Brown Promoted

White House Releases List of Games They Won't be Playing

September 11, 2005

Bush Pleads for Spirit of 9/11

September 11th Declared National Holiday

September 12, 2005

Al Qaeda Tape Actually Made by CIA Agent's Nephew

Donald Rumsfield's Million Man March

September 13, 2005

Roberts Confirmation Hearings Underway

Hundreds of Schizophrenics Go Undiagnosed in America

September 14, 2005

PR Coup: Bush's Non-Admission of Acceptance of Responsibility

Don't You Look at Me! Don't You F*cking Look at Me!

September 15, 2005

Review: Microsoft's Vista Beta 1 Release

White House Unveils Plan to Bring About Christ's 1000 Year Reign!

September 16, 2005

Feds Prepare to Invade New Orleans

Michael Chertoff "Dodged the Bullet"

September 20, 2005

Democratic Party Officially Declared Dead

Left Wing Kook Cindy Sheehan Arrested in New York