Survivor Takes "Bad" Turn
Neverland Valley is Proposed Next Stop


Santa Barbara, CA – Industry watchdog groups are growing increasingly vocal in their concerns following CBS’ recent announcement of an upcoming chapter of their flagship reality series.   “Survivor: Neverland Valley” will begin airing later this spring according to a network spokesperson.  Adrian Kelty, of CBS Entertainment explained that this episode of Survivor would veer away from what has been their traditional format.  Instead of dropping a contingent of mostly attractive young men and women in an exotic location where they must fend for themselves, and strategically plot against one another, this version drops a contingent of pre-teen boys into Michael Jackson’s Neverland Valley campus for 3-weeks of relentless threats to their self-preservation and dignity.  Surrounded by towering amusement park attractions, distracting vegetation, and numerous on- and off-camera encounters with the glam pop icon himself, these survivor hopefuls must one-by-one navigate a perilous journey of introspection, temptation, and ever-shifting challenges to their value system.  “Conceptually, it’s kind of a mix of Survivor, Temptation Island, and that new Donald Trump show that’s doing so well,” explains Kelty, “we expect huge numbers in the 10 to 24 year-old age group as well as a strong showing among mothers, ages 22 to 39.” 


“Conceptually, it’s the most shameless ratings stab we’ve witnessed since the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show last year,” laments Fighting Against Reality Television president, Judy Culdrew, “and this one’s worse in a way because it puts young boys’ virtue on the line.  “I don’t think it’s a big deal,” counters 11 year-old Billy O’Hara of Boston, MA, one of the first contestants selected, “I’ve seen the guy getting out of his limo on T.V. and he doesn’t seem that tough.  Kind of scary, though.”  F.A.R.T. head Culdrew counters that the pop star has a huge psychological advantage over the younger boys and they may be lulled into a false sense of security and be susceptible to his wily antics.  “We’re concerned that something as innocent as a Big Wheel Rally might escalate into a food fight and then it’s off to the pool, for heaven’s sake.  Will there be hot tub scenes?  Don’t count that out with these guys!” 

Kelty admits that not all details of the contest portion of the show have been worked out, “we’re pretty sure that we’ll feature a lot of the rides themselves but we’re leaning away from having the boys vote each other off the show.  Rather, we’re considering having Mr. Jackson select a boy each week to be escorted off the premises in shame.  Whatever gives the show the most integrity is what we’ll eventually go with.”